A Journey To You

                                                    

Sitting on the back seat of my friends car, my thoughts where loitering here and there. Next to me it was you looking out of the window. Turning to you and watching you was amazing. I was telling myself how can anyone be so beautiful? Your calm eyes, your robust body, your astounding smile & a pair of those twinkling   eye. Every time it use to take my breath away.

                                             

At that very moment, I closed my eyes and thanked the almighty for letting you come in my life. You turned to me and just looked straight into my eye, smiled (million dollar) and realized that I was thinking about you. Very quietly you slipped your left hand under my right hand. Your soft long fingers played a vital role to show your affection that was always seen in your eyes. Both our hands where playing with each other. 

                                             

We both knew it would have to end in this manner. The desire to be with him was more than being alive. How can anyone be so lovable that you can leave everything to be with them. 

Every time after departing from him, I use to promise myself that I wont meet him ever again. But trust me if I did not listen a HELLO from him it always made me restless.  A thought rushed through my mind, what he might be doing? did he missed me as I do? If not why? It might be hundred times that I checked my cell that is he online? Its a beautiful feeling i must say. These feelings where taught to be by the man who was sitting next me.

                                           

People say its destiny that you will not be able to. Sometimes, I feel shouting at almighty and tell him that he does not not have any right to play with anyone's emotions. if he knows that the 2 people whom he has destined to meet, then why he has not destined to be with them for ever. 

          

 People say as time passed you forget everything. Time heals everything but if you ask me few things never heal. For me the person who was sitting besides me was the thing which I prayed for year after year & he came, He came but with his own sweet time where I had to wait for him & meet him somewhere else.

What is love? How can a person love someone forever are few questions that are frequently asked in general discussion among groups where I sit. For me love is to love you till eternity & till the time i do not discover  "A WAY TO COMEBACK TO YOU" I'll love you and prove the destiny wrong.

I will walk the Journey to you.                                           

Kuch Panne (10.07.2012)

Utalatein palatein kuch pannein.....kuch geelein pannein aur chipi in mein kaee aadhi adhoori kahaniya...  Haar pannein par baatein sirf tumhari hai.




                         


Kuch sapne jo dekhethe saath mein.. Taabse lekar aaj taak jo bhi sapne dekhe, mai janti thi ki woh aadhoorein hi reh jayengey. Par pata hai kya, jaabh woh sapne mai tumharein saath dekhti thi to uinhe saach maine ki himaat pata ni kahase aati thi mujh mein..


Shayaad tumhari aankhoin se, tumhari haansi se... Par na aaj tum ho aur na aaj meri himmat... Kuch kaagazon kein panno mein hi reh gae meri zindagi...


Bahat koshish ki maine aapne aapko saamhaloon aur tumhe, tumhari yaadein aur tumharein diye huye sitam ko bhool jaaoon aur aapne aapko samhaal bhi liye, par harbaar dil kamzor padhjata tha. Dil ko pata ni kyu us dil par bharosa tha jo kabhi mere liye dhadakta tha.


Aaj bhi kae baar raaton mein uth ke aakeli tumse baatein karti hoon. Kitni hi raatein karvaton mein hi nikal gaye, aur kitni raatein kitein hi sirhanein beegey hai... 


Haar subha karvat letein huye yehi soch ti hoon ki kaash koi aisa din aaye ki us karvat ke bazoo mein tum bhi kabhi milon. Tumhe ghanton baith ke sochti hoon ki aagar aisa hota to kya hota.... 


Aaj bhi woh saare botal mere aalmari mein padhein hai jinse tumhne paani piye the... aajbhi un choodiyon ko baar baar utar ke pehen ne ki koshish karti hoon ki shayaad kaabhi tumhe mehsoos kar saakoon.


Pata hai har pal yeh sochti thi ki aisa kya karoon jisse tum mujhe chorke na jaoon.... kaabhi tasveerin to kabhi chocolate... Yeh saabh isliye karti thi ki tum iss bheed mei kahi mujhe na bhool jao... Inferiority complex tha na... kyu tum jisse koi bhi ladki pyaar karna chahegi woh mujhse kyu pyaar krenga  .....


Tumse kae baar kaha tha na ki mujhe aapna poora ek din aur poori ek raat dey do.. pata hai kyu ??? kyu ki us ek din k liye mai ICECLIMBER banan chahati thi.. Ek din ke liye i wanted to treat myself as ur ____.


Us ek din mein mai aapni saari zindagi tumharein saath jeena chahati thi. 


Tumhe subha uthati, tumhare liye chai aur nashta banati, tumharein kapdein press karke bistar par rakhti, tumharein saath nashtein ki table par baithke tumse baatein karti, fir jaabh tum office se thake haarein ghar atein to haath se bag lekar paani ka glaas deti, saath milkar tv dektein, raat ko khana khatein aur aakhir mein tumhari bahon mein sookoonse soti.. 


Ek din k lie poori tumhari hona chahati thi, jahana ghar jane ki jaldi hoti aur nahi raat hone ka daar. Kai baar tumhse milne wale pehle pal ko bar bar yaad karti, tumhare chehare ki expression ko yaad karti hoon jihn mein maine kaabhi mere liye pyaar dekha tha...


Tumhare pehli baar mere haatho ko choona gaddi ke gear badaltein huye, ek doosre se milne ki ichcha, aabhi tumharein diye phool smhalein huye hai maine. 


Par kya pata tha yeh sapne dekhtein dekhtein tum mujhse bahat aagey nikal gaye, itna ki aabh yaadon mein bhi nahi aati... Ladtein to pehle bhi the par us ladai mein bhi bhat pyaar tha par us roz woh shabdh kaafi the mujhe todne k liye...


Pannein palatein palatein kaabh yeh aankhe num hogae ki pata hi ni chala.... 


                                                   

Aabh baas mere saath rehgaye hai tumhari yaadein aur kuch kuch geelein pannein 

Kinarein .... The two sides that can't meet ever.

                                   

                                        ADHOORI KAHANI.... Kinaron Ki Tarha

Meri adhoori kahaani... kahase shuroo karoo. Mai ghanto mere saamne wali diwaar ko ghoorti rehti hoon, kaabhi gusse mein to kaabhi pyaarse. Jaane kya sunti aur samajhti hai yeh deewar. Alagsi dosti hogae hai ussey. Jo kissi se na bol sakti thi ussey fataakse bol leti thi. Par pata hai uski saabhse aachi baat kya hai ki woh baas sunti hai, bolti kuch nahi..

                                        

  

Jitna bhi ussey boloon ki sojao woh mera haar mushkil mein saath deti hai, aisa laagta hai ki saamjhti hai mujhe woh. Kuch bhi nahi chupa ussey. Yeh dosti taabhse chali aarahi hai jaabh shayaad dosti shabd ka matlaabh bhi ni pata tha mujhe. Paar aajkal kuch bhi aacha ni lagta.

                                             

Ma kehti hai ek anjaana sa adhoora, khaali paan hai meri aankhomein dikhta hai. Jaane kise dhoondhti rehti hai tu. Saach bataoon to mujhe bhi pata nahi ki kis ko khojti hai meri aankhein. Baas dhundli si tasveer hai. Uska naam pata hai mujhe paar usey bula bhi nahi saki. Bahat bar socha ki usey paas bithaoon aur ussey gale laagke aapne dilki baat batane keh doon. Paar jaabh bhi woh saamne aata hai to baas usski hoke rehjati hoon. Raamsi jati hoon uski parchae mein, uski baaton mein, uski hansii mein.  

                                       

Uska ehesaas hamesha mere saath rehta hai. Uski khushboo aabhi bhi meri badan ki silwaton mein mehek raha hoga.Kaabhi kaabhi akele mein uske paas baith jati hoon mai, aur woh mujhe aapni baaho mein bharke kitni hi baatein karta hai. Mujhe bheed mein bhi sirf wahi dikhta hai. Aksaar raat ko hum ghanton baith ke baatein karte hai. Aur jaabh woh jane ki ziidh karta hai na to daur ke usey peechese paakad ke bolti hoon ki "mat jaona" aur woh muskurake mera haath apne haatho mein leke mere bagal mein hi sojata hai. Saabh kuch to tumse hai... Har jaga woh hi to hai, rasstein mein, gaano mein, movie mein, mere wajood mein hai woh. 

                                    

Uski ahat sifr mai sunsakti hoon, woh jaabh mere kareeb hota hai to na to mujhe duniya dikhti hai aur na samaaj. Baas woh dikhta hai.  Aabh pyaar to ni ho payega dobaara.Paar kai baar aisa bhi hua hai ussey aapne aapse door jata dekh cheekhee hoon raat ko uth uth ke or phir aapne aapko akela paya hai kae baar raaton mein. Bata ni sakti hoon woh akela paan kaisa hotahai, woh adhoora paan kaisa hota hai. Tumhe ek baar baho mein bharne ke liye  koi bhi haad paar karne wali icha hoti.. 

                               

Kachodti hai yeh khali daastan. Na to tumhe bhool pati hoon aur na hi boola pati hai. Gussa aata hai tumhpey, aapne aap paar. Kyu... cheekhti hoon aasmaan ki taraf dekh kar KYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. 

                                               

Haar aahat paar mehsoos hota hai ki shayaad tum ho, bhaagke balcony mein jaati hoon shayaad tum aaj mujhse milne aayeho. paar koi ni aata. Sajna sawarna to jaise bhoolsi gae hoon. kiske liye saajoon tum jo nahi ho. Mehendi ka bahat shok tha mujhe paar woh bhi geheri ni chaadhti kyuki naam to tumhara hai to gehera kisi aur naam se kaise hoga... 

                                          

Tum boltein ho ki aap bahat filmi ho.... Mai filmi ni hoon, baas meri ek choti si khwaabon ki duniya jismein ek jhalli ladki hai jo bachpaas hi aapne shehezaadey ko dhoon rah thi. Uske zindagi mein bahatse ladke aaye, paar woh us shehezaadey ko khoj rahi thi jisse delhte hi woh saabh bhool jaye, jo uskeliye saabh kuch chor ke aaye, jo ussey utna hi pyaar kare jitna ki woh karein, jaabh woh usey choye to pighal kaar uski bahon mein simat jaye.. Haar baar woh ussi shiddaatse pyaar karti paar haar baar use uska rajkumar akela chor jata... kaabhi dhan daulaat to kaabhi ma baap, to kaabhi kisi aur ke liye...

                                                       

Aur ek baar phir usne koshish ki pyaar paane ki .. woh rajkumar bilkul uske sapno ke rajkumar jaisa tha. Aaj bhi mai tumhe yeh bayaan ni karsakti ki tum mere liye kya ho. Log agni ko sakshi maanke zindagi ke wadein karte hai. Paar mere liye to tum hi saabh kuch ho. Bahat pagalpaan dekhein hai maine.. iss baar ek pagalpaan mai bhi karke dekhoon... tumse pagalon ki tarha pyaar karke dekhoon, tumhara pagalon ki intezaar karke dekhoon, raaton mein tumse uth uth kaar baat karke dekhoon, tumhe bata sakoon ki zindagi mein agar tum ho to usey jeeney ke maene hi kuch aur hai, tumho to..... tum na ho to kuch bhi nahi. Aur tumhare saath rehne keliye ek baar to kya mein baar baar takleef seh sakti hoon, baas vada yeh kro ki aakhir mein tum mere hogey...

                                                    

Mujhe pata hai ki hum un do kinaron ki tarha hai jo kaabhi nahi mil saktein paar phir bhi mai us din ka intezaar karoongi jaha hum milein bhi aur pyaar bhi karein. Mai duniya ke kisi bhi kone mein chali jaoon tum mere dil mein meri saansein baan ke raho gey yeh mera vada raha. aajse, aabhise... chahey mera taan kisi ka bhi hojaye, meri rooh sirf tumhari aamaanat rahegi use kaabhi koi choo bhi nahi payega...Kinaron ke jaise.Aur jaabh , jis din hum hamesha ke liye milengey na do dekhna yeh poori kayenaat humara istakbaal kar rahi hogi aur woh din sirf humara hoga aur saare gaam mitjayengey... Us din mai sach mooch ki dulhaan baanoongi. Mai tumhara us KINAREIN paar intezaar karoongi....

                           

Sirf tumhari........................................

CHUNRI MEIN DAAG (19.04.2012)

Manawa mein mere aandhi hai uthi, bas stubdh khadi hoon main

saanson mein paar apani hi saans, nishabd khadi hoon main

duniya se jeeti jeeti, khud se haari bas dhwast khadi hoon mein

aaina main aur aks main, madmast khadi hoon main...

Cham cham cham cham jhanjhwaat, antar mein gunje divas raat

ek shunya shunya, tapti vishal, maaya ka madhyam mantra jaal 

mann ki dasha se ladati main phirati vishwast khadi hoon main

mari laaj main hoon, chunar bhi main hoon, chunar pe daag bhi main..

Main dhwast dhwast, main nasht mast, main saral viral main ativishti

main shaam shwet baadal me rate, nirjhar si jhari hoon main

andhiyaari raat deepak mein baat swapnil si bhari hoon main

kanchan ki kaaya apna hai saaya bas khud se ladi hoon main 

lakadi mein gili thodi simi simi tham thamke chali hoon main

hai maaya maaya hai chhaaya chhaaya aatma par saaya main

nistubdh khadi hoon main, nishabd khadi hoon main

vishwast khadi hoon mein.....